There has been a reoccurring question in Mark’s sermons the last couple of weeks that has really struck a nerve with me.  Do you know Jesus? What do you mean …do I know Jesus??? My reaction has been anywhere from flippant (of course I know HIM)… to seriously? you are asking this again?…to angry (YES for crying out loud I know HIM!)…to sobbing uncontrollably (do I know you Lord???)…A wide range of emotions to such a simple question. So for two weeks I have asked myself everyday…Do I know Jesus?

It is so easy to get so caught up in the works of life. I mean really…I work for the church. My office is next to the pastor. I’m life group coordinator and life group leader. I have like 15 Bibles not including Bible Explorer on my laptop. I listen to sermons all the time and read every book I can get my hands on. I do stuff to help people…blah blah blah blah! Stinkin’ ridiculous really. It sounds pretty spiritual but, in reality, you can do all those things and still not know Jesus.

Now before everyone freaks out and starts praying for my salvation…rest assured that I do know Jesus and He loves me so much that as I opened my heart and prayed for Him to teach me how to know Him better…He rocked my world. There have been many things I have learned in just two weeks. I will give you a quick summary of some.

Mark made a statement in one of his sermons that went something like “you pray for God to speak to you, to give you a word but you won’t even open your Bible and read the word I’ve already given you.” Ummm but I’ve been listening to all those sermons and reading all those books with Scripture in it…Am I really going to be content eating the fruit of other people? NO! I want my own fruit!

How about this one…Lord, how come I just can’t seem to appreciate worship music? His reply…maybe it has something to do with the fact that mixed in with worship music you have titles of songs such as Fergalicious and Like a G6. These songs don’t bring me closer to God…they draw me away from Him to places in my mind that I don’t need to go. The song that Shannon has sung in the past “The More I Seek You” has been a song that I want to sing every day of my life. It is my prayer that everything I do, everything I say, everything I think…I do so with the image of me laying back against Him listening to His heartbeat. Please don’t ever take Your Hand off of me Lord! I say this not to boast but to hopefully inspire someone to get serious about Jesus by flat out saying no to some things that you are hanging onto. “My music” has been something I have hung onto my whole life…it has been a hindrance in my walk with Jesus. I went thru my iTunes and deleted 1000 songs. For me, that hurt. But I love Jesus and I want to show Him in any way that I can. I’m not playing y’all!

Here’s another lesson I learned this week. He showed me that I know more about other people and their business than I do about Him. I meditate more on how to help someone solve their problems than I do on His Word. I analyze how I may or may not have handled a situation than I seek out Christ and rest in Him. Say what? But it is true. I love to help people or should I say I really want to help fix people…you know…I like to sport the jacket “holy spirit junior” around. This is starting to get me into trouble as it well should for crying out loud. Just who do I think I am?

Y’all had no idea I was such a mess did you? Somehow, I feel like I’m not alone…you all are just too chicken to say it about yourselves! Now please…don’t start feeling sorry for me. As stinkin’ painful as these two weeks have been, it feels good to know that He loves me enough to discipline me. I am thankful that He doesn’t just drop me like a hot potato when I don’t get it right but instead He gives me another chance and never stops loving me. Frankly, for the last two weeks, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Jesus which is why I finally blog. I want everyone to know that I love Jesus and yes, Mark, I do know Him but I have a long way to go…so keep teaching!

Deuteronomy 4:29 ²⁹ But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul.

Hebrews 11:6 ⁶ And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

Click here to hear Shannon sing “The More I Seek You”